love of youth

After spending time with the youth at our midweek meeting, I sat for a while and meditated on what I shared. Reviewed the interaction; assessed if I met my goals. I always ask if I was personal and transparent enough for my youth so they know I care about them. Like usual I go through my stuff one more time, making changes for the next time around. I’ve really learned that most of the stuff we teach can be reused again. Like a lot of youth pastors do, I ask the next question: how did things really go. Most pastors know if they did it right. Some nights God blesses you with an awesome night; other nights you just sort of wonder what you were thinking… you feel awful for putting youth through the mess of your spirit-less work. It’s in those moments where you just need another fellow youth pastor to tell you to let it go and move on which I confess I’ve needed to hear in the past to get through some weeks…but moving beyond my inadequacy, the part I love the very most about any youth meeting isn’t the teaching. I mean I’m grateful I get to teach Bible stuff because that’s what youth pastors should try to do well. The part I crave the most though; the stuff I love about youth ministry is the hanging out. Lately I’ve realized that the youth God’s blessed me with the last three years feel more and more like my friends which takes so long to develop. It’s that great spot when they can just be who they are when you’re around em? Where they just want to chill and talk about the stuff that honestly no one in the whole world cares about but seems natural to discuss because it’s what feels right?

I mean I just got done spending 40 minutes talking with students about random dreams we’re having. Best dream of the night? One student told me she dreamed she was being chased by life-size Cheetos. Yeah, it’s meaningless conversation to most people but the kind of stuff I almost crave. And once in a while, they share the hard stuff too. The hurts and pains. When they hurt, I hurt. When they struggle with school, I pray and struggle with them. When a parent calls me with concerns, I feel concerned too and stay up thinking about how they’re doing. I want their total success in every aspect of life. While they’re my friends, I also feel like they’re my own kids too. And I think that’s at the end of the day what youth ministry boils down to… when you’re not just trying to feed them a ton of stuff but trying to love them as you teach them; be with them; play with them.

While I find myself a bit uneasy about how at times I’ve fallen short of my church and the kids that God’s given me to lead, I’m tempering all of it with the greater goal of loving kids to a better place with Jesus by the simple act of being around them. Yeah maybe that’s too basic for some big-time youth pastors I know but I guess it’s just how I see it… and well, if I were a kid again I was thinking that’s the way I would want to describe my youth pastor: a leader who taught and loved me like Jesus…